Dillweed of the week

I regret to say that I may just have to make this a regular feature here at SOP. This week, I point you to this pile of steaming groover stew over at ESPN.com. We don’t know anything about Tiger Woods, blah, blah, blah. He’s boring, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Why, oh why, do some people think that everything about everyone is fit for mass public consumption? (And yes, I realize how ironic it is that I wrote the above question on my own very public web site. The big difference? In this forum, I choose to expose only parts of my life, and it’s done on my terms; Tiger’s critics wish for him to surrender to the media his right to cherry pick what he wants to share and when. That is, they want to pull back the curtain on any or all aspects of his life they can get their hands on.)

Let me ask…How exactly has knowing all about Britney Spears enlightened us? How has our knowledge of all things Lindsay Lohan enhanced our viewings of ‘Freaky Friday?’ In sports, Terrell Owens, among others, has become infamous for his off-field activities. Has that made him a better player? How about Marshawn Lynch? Who wouldn’t rather be ignorant of what kind of vehicle he drives or the sad fact that he brings his own booze to Buffalo nightclubs?

This is why I’ve instructed family and friends of mine that, if I should happen to drown in a vat of Elsinore beer, or some other godforsaken reason that my untimely demise were to make the cable news shows, do not talk to the bottom feeders. Please, just let me go in silence. Just once I’d like to hear “We tried to contact the victim’s family, but we were unable to find a single person willing to sell him out for a few minutes of face time with us here on MSNBC.”

Back to Tiger. The author, Michael Weinreb, doesn’t reveal specifically what he wants to learn about him. He is, perhaps, just looking for reassurance that Tiger’s life of winning golf tournaments, millions of dollars, and Swedish nannies who moonlight as swimsuit models, has not made him dull. To which I say, if those are the determining factors, I’m all in for dull. Just don’t expect me to tell you about it.

~ by Porky on June 26, 2008.